You’ll have to excuse me, I’m not at my best
I’ve been gone for three months, on the road since I left
These so-called vacations will soon be my death
I’m so sick from the road, I need home for a rest
With apologies to Spirit of the West, “Home for a Rest”
The original Spirit of the West song has more to do with being drunk since they left, which (mostly) isn’t us. But the sentiment behind these lyrics – the notion that travel is wonderful, magical, and exhausting – rings true.
Last night I dreamt that our daughter’s bedspread was growing mushrooms, and there was a serious leak in our roof. This appears to be my brain’s way of reminding me of all the many responsibilities I have shirked these past few months, and how they have been waiting patiently – and not-so-patiently – for us to return.
(In case there is any doubt that house problems can – and do – present themselves while one is on holiday, I will remind you as to the squirrels incident.)
But – as I remind myself on the rare occasion when these responsibilities waken me in the middle of the night – they will still be there a few hours from now, so let’s focus on the task at hand.
Our alarms go at 6:15 am this morning – which is early, but we prudently went to bed earlier than usual. (Note the “than usual” as opposed to just “early”.)
Our luggage was mostly packed – and weighed! – the day before, so it’s simply a matter of adding the last of the toiletries and sundries then running those bags down to the lobby so they can be loaded on our private transfer, which is set to depart at 7:40 am.
This would normally be plenty of time, but breakfast at Club Med doesn’t start til 7:15 am. You would think it would be earlier given the number of kids around, but the ski hill doesn’t open until 9:30 am and everything is geared around that.
But the restaurant opens promptly on time, and we make the most of the 20 minutes we have. The eggs are overdone. I will live.
I head downstairs to settle the bill and confirm the bags have been loaded onto our transfer. We didn’t pay for much while we were here – the transfers, the ski rentals, a bottle of premium wine to reserve our spot at the circus show, a couple of drinks at the speakeasy, and a pair of kids-sized La Coste / Club Med polo shirts that went for less than retail. And in a colour that the children require the day after we return for a theme day at school.
There is a brief moment of panic when the front desk seems to have lost the ski passes we returned yesterday, but they are soon found. Reception snips our wristbands, and we board the transfer to New Chitose.
And the verdict? Club Med Kiroro Grand delivered what we expected of it – an easy-to-visit doorway into the wild mountains of Hokkaido. There is more to be found there. I hope to return one day without the Club Med bubble-wrap.
Enroute, Air Canada informs us that our flight out will be delayed by 40 minutes due to late arrival of the previous aircraft. Ah, well. It gives us more of a window for our domestic flight. I text our driver in Toronto, who confirms he will be tracking us via FlightAware.
The transfer itself is pleasant. The clouds have shifted over to the next valley, and so for a time we are driving above the clouds. It inspires a small moment of awe in our daughter. I can’t quite manage a decent photo. So it goes.
Our driver soon deposits us at the domestic terminal at New Chitose – which has to be one of the most confusing airports I’ve ever visited. There is a map, but it shows more of shopping than it does of airport counters. We head in one direction, then backtrack, then head in the other direction.
Eventually we find the Jetstar counter. They have only just opened check-in for our flight, so no time has been lost. The agents move everyone through quickly, apart from one group arguing over how much luggage they should be permitted to bring. Glad we sorted that yesterday.
No issues with our checked bags, nor with our carry-ons. They let all of us pile our carry-ons onto the scales at once, and then check our weight allowance. Our bags come to roughly 45 kg while we pre-paid for 56 kg – so we could have saved ourselves 3,000 yen (roughly USD$20) by buying 7 kg less in carry-on quota. Except they could have asked us to weigh purses, satchels, jackets, etc.. So we won’t quibble over a few bucks.
While walking through the check-in area we notice a sign from ANA stating they can check bags through internatinally to other Star Alliance partners, including Air Canada. Given how much we enjoyed our ANA flight down, we would absolutely look to do that in the future. I also expect we might be able to book future flights from Toronto to New Chitose via Air Canada, though those would need to stopover in Tokyo or Osaka.
We clear security quickly – computers and iPads come out, and I remove my Blundstones – but otherwise it’s relatively painless. There are gates A through F with security checkpoints, but you can access any of the gate areas once you are through security. Confusingly, our gate is listed as D19 but the D stands for Domestic.
Our son goes for a forage and tracks down a place called Chocolate Masale.
I buy them out of chocolate croissants and chocolate swirls, and set those aside for the all-important second breakfast.
There isn’t much seating around our gate, but another flight eventually boards and we nab four seats close to one another.
Boarding doesn’t start until 20 minutes in advance of our departure. There are no boarding groups, everyone just sort of mills around the front. It’s still extremely efficient and we’re soon on the plane with our bags stowed.
There’s not a tremendous range of food options on this flight:
But our fare apparently includes a 500 yen voucher, which is enough for a coffee and some Pringles.
Calories don’t count on travel days
While my son opts for some Toppo:
It’s only a 90 minute flight, and it passes quickly – I’m reading Devil and the Dark Water by Stuart Turton, and quite enjoying it. It’s about a Dutch East Indian Company ship that finds itself beset by mysterious events while travelling from Batavia (Indonesia) back to the Netherlands. I wonder if it was inspired by the tragic real-life events of the ship named Batavia, which we learned about back in Fremantle…
Touchdown, Tokyo!
We deplane via stairs (boo) but at least there’s no shuttle bus (yay) to get us to the terminal, except we do need to collect our bags (boo) and take a shuttle to Terminal 1 (boooo) except we try to board the wrong shuttle the first time around (booooooo).
On the bright side, I learn that our TravelPro checked bag handles will hold roughly 80 pounds of weight at once – as I lift the checked bag and our duffle onto the shuttle by the checked bag’s handle. It’s a pain, but nothing we can’t manage.
Up to the Air Canada check in desk on the fourth floor. We had attempted to check in the day prior, but were given a “you must check documents when you get to the airport” error. So that’s what we’re doing.
We can access the priority line due as we are in premium economy, but that’s the longest line – the old truism that when everyone is a priority, no one is. But the line moves quickly, and we soon have our bags checked.
We had debated bidding on an upgrade, but they were looking for at least CAD$3,000 (USD$2,150) per seat so we decided not to bother. It’s not really an “overnight” flight and we’re only planning to sleep for a few hours, so the lie-flat seats are less critical than they would be otherwise. Plus – we need that money for future trips!
We had debated waiting until after passing security before eating a late lunch, but they have a Shake Shack here so we decide to roll the dice that we won’t end up with another Cape Town situation in which the security line stretches for multiple hours and we have to be rescued by a kindly airline staffer named Reinhardt.
Shake Shack is one huge, delicious ball of grease – but we give it a good home.
Avocados are healthy, right?
Then we head through security – the line moves quickly, but my wife and son get stuck behind a woman whose bag has to go through multiple times. She has filled her bottle with ice because that’s not water and it will absolutely not have melted by the time she gets to security (this is one of those travel hacks people should give up on), she forgets to remove her laptop, and so forth and so on. Eventually we all meet up on the other end and continue through Immigration.
Immigration is a simple passport scan, though my wife and daughter again go off to the side because of our daughter’s age. This takes longer than it does for my son and myself – perhaps an extra 5 minutes or so.
We debate heading to the airport lounge, but there’s only about an hour til our flight departs so we just hang out by the gate instead. We’ll want to share those extra passes for our upcoming trip to Svalbard this summer, and for the Caribbean in December.
This also gives my wife the chance to have her first chai latte in ages, as we eye our plane with anticipation:
We board more or less on time – the new delayed time, that is – and settle into our seats. Plenty of overhead luggage space despite Air Canada’s usual offers to check our bags for free.
There was a massive line for Zone 2, but most of those are due to status with Air Canada.
Interesting to see the path for this flight – it looks like we’ll be flying over (or skirting) Russia.
It makes sense that this would be the most direct path, but I’d never really thought of it before.
I wonder how we’ll adjust to an thirteen hour time shift. At least we won’t have to wait long after we land before going to bed again – we’ll actually be arriving at 4:15 pm on April 6th, which is more than an hour before we take off. Time zones can be so strange.
(We must have quite the tailwind as – despite the 35 minute delay – that’s earlier than scheduled.)
While boarding, the flight attendants offer a special kids-themed overnight bag which our daughter declines. Though she’s been getting them since she flew to Iceland at 2 years old, so I guess they’re old hat at this stage.
We run into turbulence when we get airborne, so the service is abbreviated – but we do receive a very credible beef curry.
Curries are a great option for in flight dining in my opinion – they tend to reheat well.
The bun is somewhat stale, like it was microwaved before serving – which it probably was.
Beverage service doesn’t happen til after the meal which I chalk up to the earlier turbulence. I’m planning to only sleep 3 or 4 hours so I can fall back asleep when we get home.
We’re almost 3 hours into our flight when I ask for a nightcap – and I’m told that because I’ve already had two beers that I will need to wait an hour before ordering another drink. Granted, I did have those two beers – 355 ml cans, mind you – over roughly an hour, but I would have spaced them out more had service not been delayed an hour and a half due to turbulence.
Grumble, grumble, grumble.
I finish Devil and the Dark Water – which was excellent, and was indeed inspired by the events of the Batavia. I then move on to Waverunner by Suzanne Heywood. It’s a recount of her childhood spent at sea with her parents (and with minimal schooling). My wife has read it too so it’ll be interesting to discuss once we’ve both finished it. Which should be soon, as I can scarcely put it down.
The lights are dimmed for overnight, but my hour is up so I go in search of a flight attendant. None in the cabin so I do the once unthinkable and page one via my call button. (Was anyone else raised to never touch call buttons unless absolutely necessary? Different scenario in premium economy versus regular economy methinks.)
A different flight attendant arrives and I’m soon sipping my nightcap of Canadian Club on the rocks – though in a plastic cup. They seem to be having trouble with the ice, and are getting small boulders instead of cubes, so they need a larger cup. That or they don’t want to have to deal with glasses at this time of night.
Shortly thereafter, I begin to prepare for bed, but someone is taking an inordinate amount of time in the lavatory. I do a quick headcount and realize it’s no one from Premium Economy. We must have an Economy interloper – which normally I wouldn’t mind overmuch except Premium Economy only has the one lavatory and it’s going on 10 minutes.
Question for the gentle readers – do you ever knock on an airport lavatory if it’s been a long time? I did. Felt a bit rude about it, but between the duration and the interloping it seemed like the right decision.
The poor fellow coming out looked somewhat chagrined so I will just say for the record – no hard feelings, but I’m not sorry I knocked either.
I feel like this is another unwritten sky commandment – “Thou may usest another class’ lavatory, but only if yours are taken and thou whilst be brief.”
(Theirs were not taken. My Canadian conscience forced me to check.)
It’s frustrating because it often seems like we are at the short end of this. Flying in business class? Premium economy can come up to use your bathroom. In Premium Economy? You can’t use the Business Class bathrooms but Economy can use yours.
In fairness to the air crew – they were stopping Economy folks when they saw them. But the aircrew was scarcely around for ‘quiet hours’, which was most of the flight.
I wake up around 3 am Tokyo time – or 2 pm Toronto time, as I need to start thinking of it – having slept upwards of 5 hours. It’s the kind of broken sleep you get when you’re camping and it’s too cold out, but sleep is sleep when you’re flying. As my wife said, better to treat it as a nap.
She also tasks me with finding out if there will be additional meal service as she has thus far been told there won’t be, yet there is breakfast listed on the in flight info. The cabin is dark still so I press the call button once more.
The drink-refusing flight attendant arrives like a ninja in the night. “Can I get some coffee please?” I ask.
“Black, right?” comes the reply.
This rubs me the wrong way for a few reasons. 1.) I have not ordered coffee so how would she know how I want it; and 2.) She defaulted to the easiest option.
“No, with cream please.”
I do get my coffee, and I find out meal service is in another hour. Nothing offered in the meantime.
Maybe I’ve just been spoiled by the fabulous service we’ve gotten at Silversea, various Japanese hotels and Club Med these past few months. I don’t know.
I read a sip my coffee, carefully calculating how much caffeine will see me through to home but not keep me up tonight. A careful balancing act indeed. There are roughly 6 to 7 hours of travel time remaining so I settle on another half a cup.
Breakfast / dinner (brinner?) service does indeed come round:
The eggs and sausage are good, but who thought it was a good ideal to put the broccoli in there? Now the whole breakfast tastes vaguely of broccoli. Even if you like broccoli, does anyone really want slimy airline broccoli for breakfast? Blech.
I take one bite of the roll expecting it to be mediocre. I am correct.
Another flight attendant offers me coffee, and I ask for just a bit. I say when and she goes, “Are you sure, it’s not even half a cup?!” It’s a small gesture but it means a lot.
More fighting for the lavatory with economy interlopers – at least these ones are quick – and then it’s time to pack up in preparation for landing. I attempt to charge my laptop before remembering that Air Canada’s outlets aren’t up to the challenge – and they aren’t – so this will be the one trip report I tap out on my iPhone instead. I need to start bringing a Bluetooth keyboard on these trips.
Shortly before landing, my wife and I both note how (relatively) easy these 12 hour fights are. Service hiccups notwithstanding, these direct Air Canada flights have really opened the world to us.
Other good news – no speakerphone shenanigans aboard the flight. Guess there’s one place where people still realize it’s a jerk move. Though it was brutal at the gate, and I expect there would have been issues in economy.
Touchdown, Toronto!
We lost a few minutes midair so touch down precisely on time. I also manage to resume my phone’s data plan without any issues – one of the big reasons that we switched from Bell to Rogers was because there was a full day delay turning our data back on after our Morocco and Paris trip.
And why do we turn our data off at the network level? (That is, via Rogers’ app / website instead of just on the phone.) The iPhone has a nasty habit of using data even if data roaming has been turned off – particularly if you use ‘Find My.’
This is another benefit of using Airalo’s global eSIMs – worst case we still have access to data in Canada after landing.
It being late afternoon on Easter Monday, there is a massive line brewing for Customs. Thankfully we filled out our ArriveCan declaration in advance – we can thus use the Express lane and the ‘Under 15 family’ option, which takes perhaps 2 minutes before we are heading out to baggage claim.
The priority tags work their magic again and – despite a brief stoppage on the carousel – we soon have our bags and are wheeling our way to the exit. One family is letting their child treat their checked bag like an oversized scooter, weaving left and right and then drifting down the ramp. It’s irritating but soon we’re clear.
Off to Tim Hortons for second brinner:
And we text our driver, Awan, to let him know we’ve landed. He recommends that we head to the far end of terminal 1 – E4 to make pickup, and it’s a good suggestion. It’s much quieter there.
Awan’s Escalade shows up minutes later and we are loaded and gone – less than 30 minutes after touching down. Remarkable!
I still have not managed to get a photo of Awan arriving to pick us up – he’s simply too efficient. So please accept this photo from when Awan dropped us off on our Antarctica to Zimbabwe trip
Traffic is initially bad – Easter Monday and all that – but clears up sooner than expected.
Our home and native land puts on a lightshow to welcome us back
It’s not long before we’re home.
Still to come in the weeks ahead – a ‘lessons learned’, plus an in-depth review of our 47 day cruise aboard the Silver Moon.